| Woooo~! |
[Thursday . September 20th, 2007 at 3:19am] |
Soooo,
There's something that I've felt for a long time, but me being me, I managed to hide it from myself. ;P But after an uber long talk with my friend Tiesha the other night (about the world in general), as well as discussions with many other people about what it means to "be true to yourself," I uncovered my lost feelings.
I have been (subconsciously) very unhappy with myself, because I feel that I'm a hypocrite.
It's kind of a long story--and if you want to hear it, ask me--but...
I really think that Anime USA (and Katsu, if I go to it), are going to be my last conventions, with the exception of MAYBE Otakon. I could write pages upon pages as to why that is, but it comes down to this:
My heart isn't in anime/manga/conventions. It never has been, and it never will be. There are many anime and manga that I adore (NANA!!! ♥ Ouran!!! ♥ etc. etc.) but I'd much rather adore them all individually than be part of a fandom.
My heart is with all of the amazing, amazing people that I've met through or because of anime. That's the reason that I hid my true feelings from myself. Because I was afraid that admitting my dislike for the anime community as a whole would cause me to lose a huge connection with the people I hold so dearly. I was afraid that I'd be outcasted from their "world"...because...Although I've read other people's posts on similar subjects and thought, "How ridiculous, they should know who their real friends are!" the idea of losing your friends is VERY terrifying.
But, I do know who my friends are. I was reminded of that that this past week, when my world as I knew it was falling into complete and utter chaos. And just like everything other time I've been reminded of this, I find myself wondering, "What did I EVER do to get such amazing friends?" Thanks, you guys, for being there for me. I love you all with all of my heart! ♥
...So. What IS my heart in?
Aside from being the best daughter/friend/sister/person I can be...
...Japanese. I have NEVER, in my entire life, loved doing anything as much as I love learning that language. If you've been unfortunate enough to listen to my ramblings on Japanese/Japanese class, then you know just how much this means to me.
...languages in general, learning about the world (WOOOO, Anthropology!), traveling to new places (since I've barely ever traveled before), actually passing math (even though I hate doing math with a passion!)
...Actually being happy with what I choose to spend time doing.
I can't even tell you how much relief writing this has given to me.
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| I don't really...know what to say. |
[Saturday . May 26th, 2007 at 8:27pm] |
I. HAVE. MY. LAPTOP. XD I picked it up on the way to my grandother's house in Rockaway Beach. So I can go online. Obviously. This makes me ridiculously happy. :P ...Boy, am I pathetic. XDD
So...Because of my vacation, I really need a vacation. ;P
I was having an amazing beyond amazing time in Atlantic City...but of course, things couldn't stay that way. Because my family is able to continue to fall apart, even when we're not in the same house. It's truly an amazing feat.
Gosh, my heart aches. XD;
My dad claims that things won't be this way next year, but at this point, it's really difficult to believe him. So I have no idea how I'm going to be able to live at home without falling apart myself.
I'd ask if any of you wanted to get an apartment with me (well, okay, so that's a *really* backwards way of asking XD), but most of you guys are either A)Dorming, B)Not in college yet, or C)Nowhere near here. ;____;
I just really want to move out. Which is why I was going to go to Drexel even though I knew that it was totally the wrong school for me. At least I was intelligent enough to decide against that, you know? ^^; But yeah, just the thought of dorming and living away from home and all it's problems made me feel so much happier and calmer.
I don't know what I'm going to do, but hopefully I'll be able to work *something* out. xD; Every time I think that I can just shrug off the problems and live at home until I transfer next year to wherever, something like *this* happens ("this" being all the problems this weekend) and I realize that I really need to move out.
My heart hurts too much not to. I'll have to figure out something. XD
SO....ANYWAY. XD XD
I get to see Pirates 3 with my jerk on Tuesday! <3 <3 I can't *wait*. Would've been great to see it on Thursday, but rawr to everything happening at the same time. :P I'M SO EXCITED. I think we're going to see it twice that day~~!
And OH~~ Japanese practice with the people from my Japanese class (+2 other people) has started and it's SUCH fun. <3
I feel soooo left out of the whole Pokemon craze, 'cause I haven't been near a store to buy it yet....XDD I gotta get my game as SOON as I get back. ;P
And yaaa, tomorrow, I get to see my cousins! SO HAPPY, since I haven't seen them since December, and they're awesome. <3 <3 <3 <3
Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.
I gotta work on cosplay. At some point. xD
ANNNND, um.
Oh ya. Hey, Janice? Is it your birthday? Facebook says so. XDDD If it is, Happy Birthday!!! If not, I feel like a total idiot. ;P
I'm hyper. I think. Maybe.
Or maybe I'm just overtired.
I need to go to sleep soon.
This was a long post, wasn't it?
Bye bye~
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| My Friends Only Journal. |
[Saturday . January 27th, 2007 at 3:38am] |
So, my journal entries have been mostly Friends Only for a while now, so I may as well post making it official. There's not much of a reason behind it, except that I like knowing who's reading my journal. XD
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
ともだちだけ! From now on, for the most part.
If you'd like to be added, please do comment! I love new friends!
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| Soo... |
[Saturday . January 6th, 2007 at 1:58am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Where are you?~Spamalot Soundtrack |
] |
Hmmm.
~The amount of music on my iPod has doubled, because I took *a lot* of music from Marissa yesterday. I don't know if I'll ever get around to listening to all of it. But I know that I won't be bored on long car or bus trips for a while. xD
~I'm no longer freaked out. Thanks to Krissy, I'm incredibly amused instead. <3
~I realized how soon Katsu is, and I'm excited!
~I'm getting rocking horse shoes, and I'm excited!
~I woke up at three in the afternoon today and was rather tired and crabby more than half the day because I got about 12 hours of sleep. I hate oversleeping.
~I have no real reason to be posting a livejournal entry. I'm just bored, and...Oh look!
( Look! I stole a survey from Janice! ^^ )
Well, that was interesting while it lasted. Still bored, though. xD
EDIT: YAY! Look at the adorable Nana icon that Cassi made for me~! <33 *glomp*
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| "Don't push me, I'm close to THE edge!" :P |
[Thursday . January 4th, 2007 at 1:23am] |
| [ |
mood |
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exhausted |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Feeling Fine~L'Arc~en~Ciel |
] |
So, a few hours after it became 2007, I turned on my Nintendo Gamecube for the first time in at least half a year. Only to discover that somehow during my Nintendo hiatus, the cable connecting the system to the television had broken, allowing me to play my new game (Mario Kart: Double Dash, FINALLY) in-get this-black and white ! While that was quite an experience, I was rather excited today when my mom bought me a new video/audio cable and I was able to play the game in FULL COLOR!
Which led to what I later realized must have been a very interesting sight: I was sprawled out on the floor, my legs resting on my DDR mat, with a serious expression on my face (I haaate losing to the computer players in Mario Kart, xD) while sprinting back to the computer nearly every time I received a new IM. ^^; Finally, I got pretty tired and turned off the game and decided to chill out on the internet for a bit...And then everyone I was talking to signed off. Go figure. :P
So, anyway, getting back to what this entry was supposed to be about, I've had an interesting couple of days.
On New Year's Eve, I went out to the movies to see "Night at the Museum" and then to dinner with my family and then came home to watch the ball drop. Afterwards, my younger sister and I pranced around singing more than half of the "RENT" soundtrack...XD The next day, I went to the movies with Tara to see "Night at the Museum" for the second time, because she hadn't seen it yet and wanted to.
Yesterday, I went out to breakfast with my friend Melissa (my jerk! <3) and we took a lot of pictures, including this one:
After looking the picture on my camera, she said, "Aw, our feet like each other!"
Me: "Aw, yeah, they're cute!"
Her: "Our feet are happy!"
Me: "HAPPY FEET! HAPPY FEET! HAPPY FEET!" :P
I saw that movie again today, since I wasn't feeling all that well the first time I went to the movies to see it. THAT MOVIE IS AMAZING! *flail* It turns out that I really did miss a lot of it the first time around. And I ESPECIALLY love going to movies with my friend Lauren, because she'll sit there and point out all the little details in the animation, soundtrack, or plot that NO ONE ELSE NOTICES. xD
Marissa came to meet us at the mall later, since she hadn't seen Lauren in ages. The mall was EXTREMELY empty, quite possibly the emptiest that I've ever seen it. And quite honestly, I think the mall cops were incredibly bored, because nothing else can explain the...um...er...bizzare incident that took place tonight.
My friend Lauren had to leave the mall earlier than Marissa and I did, and she asked us to walk her to her car since it was late, and dark, and kind of deserted. So, of course, we did. Laur was in her car getting ready to leave, so Marissa and I stood there and waited for her to pull away, beacuse I knew that she wanted us to. And out of nowhere, this car-van-truck mall police car pulls up behind us and the cop walks agressively out of the car and asks, "What's going on here, ladies?"
So I said simply, "We're just waiting for our friend to leave."
And he responded by pointing to the bright red, expensive sports car next to us and asking, "Does this belong to either of you?" Holding back laughter, I said no, and he looked at us suspiciously for no reason at all.
So I repeated, "We're just waiting for our friend to leave." And he looked at us one more time before wandering back to his car, most likely disappointed that he couldn't find anything to arrest us for.
After he had gotten back into his car, my friend Lauren turned to Marissa and I and asked, "What does he think we're doing? Soliciting sex, or something?" Thanks to that line, I started laughing and had difficulty stopping.
'Cause, you guys all know that Kaga and Yagiko are prostitutes, don't ya? XD Hahahaha. ...Shin-chan, you'd better be careful in the mall, they're on the lookout. :P
In...slightly more normal news, I went looking through doll websites again, and I'M IN LOVE, even though I won't be getting one anytime soon. (Cassi! 2011! XD) Magenta is always talking about "knowing when you've found the doll for you", and that's how it was when I saw U on DOD's website. He's absolutely perfect. <3 And I thought, "Hmm, so maybe I'll get a male doll after all."
Until I saw Mini Fee Soo on Luts' website. I LOVE her as well (though, not in the wig she's wearing on the site) and overall, I think I'd be much happier with a female doll than a male one.
But it doesn't matter, I have QUITE a while to decide. -_-
...I wish I could dance like Mumble can...
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| "Konban wa! Blasto DESU!!!" ^_^ |
[Saturday . December 30th, 2006 at 1:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bouncy |
] |
Yesterday, I met someone very special. He's an irrestibly adorable individual, though he's kind of short for his age and a boy of very, very few words. His real name is unknown, but he goes by the very mysterious alias "Mr. Man". XD
...And...Did I mention...He's a BJD? A very, very pretty BJD. Magenta's, to be exact. ^^
So, tada~!
Me and (with Magenta's permission) my new best friend :P
I took waaaay too many pictures in Penn Station while we were waiting for Alice and Laura to arrive. ^^;; Well, so did everyone else. xD We were quite a sight really, gathered around Mr. Man and Glee (my Gloomy <3) and being loud and taking random photos. Hehe.
Marissa, Tara, Magenta, and Nicole :
( More Penn Station Fun )
Moving on, yesterday was an incredibly special day~~! My first karaoke and puricura!! <3
Karaoke was AMAZING but...ummm...interesting..XD
The seven of us were in a room meant for twenty, so we pranced around quite a bit. :P Nicole and Tara impressed me with their awesome Para Para skills, and I impressed myself with my ability to screw up entire songs merely by failing to read a kanji or two and completely losing my place. :P Due to this, I decided that I hate kanji more than EVER BEFORE (meaning I don't study nearly enough -__-;;;), and proceeded to say so every 15 minutes, probably annoying everyone in the room and making an odd first impression with Laura and Alice. ;___; Sorry everyone~! Hahahaha. :P
Mr. Man and I laughed....ERRRR, no, I mean...WATCHED as Tara, Nicole, Alice, and Magenta sang Dir en Grey songs...complete with Tara rolling around on the floor. :P
Mr. Man can sing, too, by the way!
Though, it was really difficult for him to hold the microphone without falling over. XDDDDD
He can also play the tambourine, just in case you were wondering... :P
And then, much to our surprise, we found puricura!!! :3 Well, actually, Tara did. <33 Suuuch fun! I scanned our pictures into my computer, because I'm lazy and can't wait for the guy to send them to me, and the real thing looks much, much better, but anyway...
( Look Everyone! It's PURICURA! )
And that was our day.
Victoria, Janice, Scout...We have to make plans really soon!! I'm sorry that you guys couldn't come! >____<
And Cassi, you were missed muchly as always. <33 I have one of our first NYC days planned out for you and I when you get back--KARAOKE and PURICURA!! XD
Laura and Alice, it was soo much fun getting to meet you guys~! And Mr. Man. :P And it was fun hanging out with Magenta again, of course.
I didn't mean to make this post so long or so full of pictures. Uuuuuh, oops. -__-;;; Eh heh heh. ^_^
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| Why? |
[Friday . December 29th, 2006 at 2:03am] |
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mood |
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 tired |
] |
So guys, since it's after 2:00 AM and I'll only be getting about four hours of sleep (thanks to my own stupidity) tomorrow (ummmm, today?) I'll either be one of two things.
Really, really tired or really, really hyper.
Since I found out earlier that I did really well in three of my classes (I'm still waiting for the fourth), and we're aiming for karaoke and purikura, my current vote is on being hyper.
Well, we'll find out then, won't we now. ^_^
I'm going to bed now!
~Alyssa
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| Lalala. |
[Thursday . December 28th, 2006 at 12:11am] |
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mood |
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 thoughtful |
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| [ |
music |
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Believing: Ishida Yoko |
] |
Wow. I suck at Super Smash Brothers and the arcade version of DDR. ;___; Wah.
That's all.
...No, wait. That's not all. I checked Anime Next's website, and they announced the rate for Amerisuites. It's only $129 per night...The rooms usually book up pretty quickly as far as I remember...Sooooooo, shall we? Soon?
How many people can we fit semi-comfortably into one room, anyway? :P xD
Edit: My friend Joanna said that she definitely wants to go to Anime Next, so...we're five people so far, then? ^^
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| *squeee* |
[Tuesday . December 19th, 2006 at 4:09pm] |
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mood |
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 relieved |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Hitoiro (Nakashima Mika) ^_^ |
] |
I take back everything negative I've ever said about my Psychology teacher. She rocks. A while back, I had missed one of the tests, and was supposed to go take it at the testing center, but was too stressed to get around to it. When I approached her about it, she handed me back my the test I took today, as well as the last paper I wrote and said, "You're an A student, you don't need to take the test. There's no point. I'll just give you the grade you deserve, okay? *grin*" I felt SOOO bad about it, almost as if I was doing something illegal... LOL, but I kept asking her if she was sure and she said yes. AND SO. No more TESTS TO STUDY FOR THIS SEMESTER! I love my Psych. teacher~! <3
Later on today, I have to take my last Japanese test...and that'll be my last exam for the semester. YAY! FINALLY! *is much less stressed out than she was this morning*
HUMMMMMM, what else? I found out that I'm going into Rockaway this weekend. ^^ On Saturday, I'm going to my cousins' grandmother's birthday party, and my sister and I are sleeping over at my cousins' house. I haven't seen these cousins in EVER, so it'll be wonderfully fun! Yay!
When do you guys wanna get together and exchange gifts? I'd say Friday, but I have plans with a friend that day...unless you wanna get together at night, 'cause I think my friend has to be home early. When is good for you guys? Let me know! <333
And...and...and...Now I gotta wait around for almost two hours so I can take my Japanese test at 6:00. Lalalala.
~Alyssa
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